Session 5: Sacred, Not Shameful

I was livid. During a weekend trip with friends, a chaperoning mom asked my daughter to enforce one-piece swimsuits on the girls so the boys wouldn’t be tempted. As if the boys weren’t responsible for their own thoughts and actions. You and I both know teenage boys don’t need bikinis to be aroused. 

My daughter’s self image was harmed that day because of a mother’s fear—and I get it. It’s scary to think about our kids having sex before they’re ready. But too often, we leave our sons in silence and teach our daughters.

But in Scripture, sex isn’t dirty and sexuality isn’t shameful—they’re divine.

Sex is God’s good idea, an act of sacred regard for the deep connection between husband and wife. In 1 Corinthians 7:2 his answer to sexual immorality isn’t repression. Instead God directs our desires into something holy and beautiful—marriage. 

I also wanted my daughter to know that she was God’s good idea too. That she too is His beautiful, holy masterpiece. 

Instead of silence or shame, I gave her the gift of my own discovery. It took me too many years to stop shrinking under shame – to stop seeing my body as something dangerous or dirty, or my femininity as a tool of manipulation. 

Holiness invites us to give our whole self to God as something sacred (Rom 12:1). I want my daughter to carry her femininity, her sexuality,  to walk tall in her femininity, now - to carry it with confidence and kindness, neither flaunting her beauty to gain acceptance nor hiding it out of fear.

And I want her to see masculinity not as a threat to defend against, but as something to respect and appreciate, like: in her father’s steadfastness or her brothers’ rough grace.

I’ve learned to stand in the sacred, relishing my femininity without apology and celebrating my husband’s masculinity without fear. And I pray is the legacy I leave her. In all things she was meant to reflect God’s glory, and enjoy His goodness.